What is swinging?
Swinging is the open exploration of sexual desires while in a relationship.
From threesomes and anonymous group sex to intimate mutual masturbation with a new lover, there are hundreds of concepts and experiences that describe and make up the swinging culture, which makes it very difficult to provide a concise yet wholly encompassing description of what swinging actually is. Being a swinger can be a great way of spicing up your sex life for you and your partner and can also add further heat to an already steamy sexual routine. There’s no age limit for those who can enjoy the lifestyle, and a growing number of people have new, positive experiences on a regular basis, whether straight, gay or not so easily put into a bracket of sexuality or gender. This is mainly thanks to an understanding community of people who have realised that sex with others can be fun and not just something to share with your partner.
Is swinging right for me?
To be a part of the culture you’ll need to understand what swinging is and why you may want to get involved – after all there’s a lot more to it than slipping between the sheets with other people at the drop of your underwear. If you’re in a relationship both partners need to be involved, otherwise it’s not swinging, it’s just cheating. Swinging involves trust and good communication between all parties, after all, anywhere sex is involved, emotions are inevitably involved too. Sit down and discuss it with your partner – if you find that you’re both as excited as each other about bringing someone else into the bedroom to enjoy your passionate side, then swinging may be for you. If you’re the jealous type or have had trouble trusting each other in the past, then it may be worth looking within your existing toy box for your next sexual kick instead.
How do I become a swinger?
If you and your partner are keen to bring someone else into the intimate side of your life then the first thing to do is start reading about other people’s experiences. There’s a vast amount of information available online, naturally some of it is to be taken with a pinch of salt, as with any subject, so make sure to use your common sense. We’ll be adding some informative posts about swinging over the coming months, but here’s a little more information on what to do and what to look out for:
Learn some of the lingo
There are some established terms and concepts that you may wish to become familiar with, but experiences will vary from each couple to the next, depending on what you want to get from it. Here are a few terms that you may wish to discuss before you think about meeting up with that couple you’ve been flirting with:
A full swap is when two couples switch partners and do anything up to and including full sex. It’s also described as “same room swap” and “separate room swap”, which outline what setting you’re okay with.
The word ‘play’ is often used as a softer way of referencing of some kind of sexual practice, be it sex or otherwise. It’s accompanied by all kinds of terms, from rope play to ‘playing on cam’.
A cuckold is the husband of an adulteress or the male part of a relationship in which a woman may enjoy multiple sexual partners, often (though not always) with an emphasis of humiliation on the male’s part.
Hotwifing is very similar to cuckolding, however the emphasis here is on the pleasure of both parties, who can enjoy the encounter equally. More information can be found here.
An orgy (or group sex) is sexual interaction among several people in the same place. It’s usually expected that people attending an orgy will share many different partners throughout.
A gloryhole is a hole found in a private location that is big enough for one person to push through their hand or genitalia, so that the person on the other side remains anonymous.
Voyeurism is the term given to the practice of someone watching others perform intimate acts, while not taking part themselves. Often, this is done with a level of secrecy to add an extra naughty side.
Pegging is a sexual endeavour of growing popularity in which the female partner wears a strapon so as to have anal sex with her male partner, often a male who would describe himself as straight.
Originating in Japan in the early 1980s, this is the sexual practice of many men ejaculating onto a woman, usually covering her face completely. Not for the squeamish 😉
Single male swingers
If you’re a single male trying to become part of the lifestyle the best piece of Swinger information is that need to understand what couples are looking for and why they want you to be involved in their fantasies. By far the worst approach is to believe that you’re the one guy everyone is looking for – there’s always a better physique, a more appropriate penis size and a better looking option out there, so approach each couple you encounter with the courtesy and respect they deserve. If you go into swinging thinking a picture of your penis and a three word pick up line is going to instantly get you laid, then you’re better off sticking to your favourite porn site to get your kicks, because nobody will give you the time of day. Swingers are normally respectful, discreet and friendly and they will expect that in return.
Single female swingers
If you’re a single female looking to find new partners, you’re going to get a lot of attention, and most of the time not necessarily from the kind of people you’re looking for. Getting a lot of attention can have it’s pros and cons, as you may find it easier to organize a roll in the hay with whomever you see fit. However, with that said you may find yourself batting away those you’re don’t quite fancy on a regular basis. Make sure you take precautions, both for your own safety and sexually, and only meet people that you trust. Always meet first in a public, social environment at least once to discuss your sexy encounters so that you can make sure you’re dealing with someone you’re comfortable with.
Where can I get more information?
We will continue to publish articles jam-packed with useful swinger information about the lifestyle, community, terminology and dos & don’ts from a range of bloggers, guest posters and our own team. We’ll be covering topics from the first steps into swinging, threesomes and sex with multiple partners and hopefully clearing up a few outdated misconceptions and preconceptions about swinging along the way. Check out our main articles page for more swinging articles.